From Confessions of a Self-Certified Life Coach, a series of essays both informative and preposterous.  Lesson 22: The Yardbirds Are Always Right.

There’s a great line in the Yardbirds song, OVER, UNDER, SIDEWAYS DOWN, and it goes like this: “Seems it’s better done than argued with somebody else.”

Hey! Over, Under, Sideways, Down.  That’s what the Yardbirds said, and that’s what I always say.  So go do something.  Protect yourself.

With these prescient words in mind, you may recall hearing or reading that as many as 200 million people got hit by an Equifax data breach in September 2017. Equifax is one of the three major credit reporting organizations, so if you’ve had a credit report run for a major purchase in the last two years, and I know you have, someone may have your info. And by “someone,” I DON’T mean your best friend, Freddie.

What to do? There is no perfect protection, but you can do credit report FREEZES (or LOCKS) with each of the three major credit reporting agencies (Equifax, TransUnion and Experian). What do FREEZES and LOCKS do?  Both are tools that prevent others … you know, others … from getting into your credit histories to commit credit fraud using your good name, something commonly called identity theft.

That’s exactly the last thing you want to happen.

Here’s why.  Every time a lender, which could be someone or some company tries to open a credit account or credit line or a loan using your info, such lenders turn to Equifax, TransUnion or Experian to look at your credit-worthiness. Since access to your data is BLOCKED with a freeze or a lock, such no-goodniks can’t be determined to be credity-worthy by lenders, and therefore are rejected from loans, credit cards and such. Without access to your credit report, no bank, no credit card company, no auto dealer – NO ONE – can determine whether you’re credit-worthy. 

I know you’re credit-worthy, but I’m just NOT going to lend you money. That’s the kind of guy I am.  A Self-Certified Life Coach.  And not just any Self-Certified Life Coach, but one certified by the AASCLC, the American Association of Self-Certified Life Coaches.  We don’t lend money.

So if it WASN’T you who applied for that new credit card, or that new car loan, or time payments on those hair transplants you’ve always wanted, that person is simply rejected for credit.  Or a loan.  Or hair transplants … because prospective lenders can’t determine whether such criminals are good credit risks.

You’re not the criminal, you with your great credit history. They are. And again, don’t worry.  I know YOU are creditworthy. On the other and more important hand, no-goodniks will be unable to open new accounts with your name and address and social security ID — which they may have gotten from Equifax, or elsewhere — and that’s EXACTLY why you should freeze or lock your credit reports.

Here’s how.

Federal law allows you to freeze you credit account at each of the three main credit reporting agencies, Experian, TransUnion, and Equifax, at no cost.  Got it?  AT NO COST.  What you have to do is go to each of the three agencies to create an account.

Experian is HERE.  TransUnion is HERE.  Equifax is HERE.  And if these LINKS are not working, go to your preferred search engine and search for Experian credit freeze, TransUnion credit freeze, and so on.

Once you create accounts with each of these august institutions, you can easily execute freezes and thereby block the entrance to your credit account.  And the only time you have to unfreeze your account is when you’re making a major purchase that requires your credit-worthiness to be established.  Examples?  Buying or leasing a car on credit.  Buying a home.  Buying major appliances on credit.  You know, making purchases using your credit-worthiness to determine whether a lender should trust you, and by that TRUST is determined by your track record of handling your finances, which is what your credit report does in a blunt fashion.  I trust you, but I’m not lending you money, capisce?  One more note.  My recommendation is to have accounts with all three agencies because lenders typically use one of the three agencies, but do not inform you which one they use, so you must be prepared before making any major purchase where your credit-worthiness comes under scrutiny.

Credit Freezes and Credit Locks – What’s The Difference?

Credit freezes are devices mandated by federal law at no cost and an opportunity for consumers to protect themselves.  Credit locks also prevent undesired access to your credit report but are part of services you pay for that are offered by all three credit reporting services, Experian, TransUnion, and Equifax.  Such services may offer you complete credit report rundowns any time you want them, advice on how to improve your overall credit score, and other things you may want.  But I don’t.  Why?  Because of the cost of such services, but that’s me.

Fraud Alerts too.

Federal law also mandates that credit reporting agencies provide you with fraud alerts if you so choose.  As with credit freezes, you must have an account with one or all three agencies and elect to receive fraud alerts.  You must reelect fraud alerts annually.  Fraud alerts require lenders to verify the identity of everyone applying for credit. 

Typically, you will receive Email, a text, or a robo-call when you or one of the aforementioned no-goodniks apply for credit in your name.  If you have a freeze AND a fraud alert, you’ll get the Email, text, or robo-call AND the no-goodnik is blocked.  Neat, huh?

My recommendation again is to have accounts with all three agencies because lenders typically use one of the three agencies, but do not inform you which one they use when you’re applying for credit.

Hassle?  What hassle?

So what’s the hassle? Let’s say you DO want to go for those hair implants I mentioned earlier and you do want to finance this procedure. You then have to unfreeze (or unlock) your credit report at whichever of the three agencies New-Hair-On-Credit uses to permit New-Hair-On-Credit to assess your credit-worthiness. For example, at my age, I’m NOT going for hair implants, and the only time I may need to make my credit history available to others — and by others I mean lenders is if I buy or lease a car (likely), get a mortgage (less likely), or buy that fleet of Lear Jets and string of polo ponies I’ve been talking about for years (a delusion, at best).

And after you are approved by New-Hair-On-Credit for your new hair, you have to go back in and freeze (or block) your credit report once again to protect yourself from someone posing as New-Nose-On-Credit, and opening a credit card or store charge card using your name, address, and social security ID.

On a Hassle Scale (and I kid you not, see HERE – I’m going to use the Holmes-Rahe Life Stress Inventory Model) of 1 to 100, with 1 being “my bagel could have been a tad fresher” and 100 being “death of a spouse,” unfreezing your credit report is to me, close to a 2 (“paying a bill online”).

But that’s me. I also know you’re wondering how I would rate a full-blown credit hack on the Holmes-Rahe Life Stress Inventory in an instance where some no-goodnik opened up credit cards in my name, purchased vacation property in the Poconos in my name, and to make things even worse, went and ordered hair-transplants in my name WITHOUT ACTUALLY NEEDING THEM.  I would rate such an event at 64, and precisely between “marital separation” and “jail term,” and even so, it would depend on which marriage and what jail.

On top of that, some of the credit reporting agencies allow you to determine the precise date your credit report is unfrozen and the precise date your report is again frozen.

Such a deal.

Final Notes

Of course, when you create new accounts write down all your log-ins, passwords and PINs. For experienced computer types, enrolling at all three may take you 30:00 to 45:00. If you’re less familiar with online sign-ups, this can take you days or weeks, but what else have you got to do? You don’t get out often enough anyway. Or find a 13-year-old nephew or niece to do this for you.

I enrolled and I encouraged all family members and friends to do so. Think of the associated costs as insurance, OK?  Now imagine getting insurance for free.  It’s not perfect, but it’s a hell of a lot better than doing nothing. And look where THAT’S got you!